Mention the word "Sex" and you are bound to get a stereotypical reaction by way of an understanding smirk, glitter in the eye, sigh, and perhaps at the cellular level even a hormonal reaction. With some people their heart rate increases and their eyes dilate.
Our sexuality is a powerful current of energy. Left unchecked, it can create havoc in our lives, bringing on unwanted pregnancies, disease, and self-loathing. Once understood in a greater context, however, it can be one of the most sublime experiences of our existence, some would argue the Apex of our Existence, which I tend to concur on.
I was brought up in a liberal home before I joined the Church. I had stacks of Playboy books under the stereo in my bedroom, and in my late teens I was frequenting burlesque theaters. During my adult life many times I lived a less than chaste life. I have been on the other side of the fence and can relate. Becoming a Latter-Day Saint at age 17 and making a total 180 was not easy. Those were the cards I was given and I make no excuses. The irony is that I served part of my mission in Southern France, during which period I was instrumental in converting a Jewish man. Yes, I spent six months in the French Riviera, in the city of Antibes. We saw many naked women in Southern France. Within those six months, my companion and I managed to tract every street and witnessed out of this world, Twilight Zone events, that confirmed to us the reality of Satan and of a spiritual world.
If we were to leave God out of the equation for a moment, as most people have done, sexuality is reduced to an animal instinct. It is nothing more or less than an impulse, a craving for self-gratification just as valid as eating an ice-cream cone satiate one's taste buds. On a more altruistic level, sex is considered a natural expression of love which consenting people can engage in, derive happiness from, and even achieve enlightenment without the associated feelings of guilt imposed by religion. This is the message we are being sold.
Speaking as one who has been on both sides of the fence, I can categorically say that this message is a pack of lies.
Let's introduce God in the equation. For Latter-Day Saints, God is a glorified being with a body of flesh and bones, not a disembodied spirit or a field of energy permeating the universe, although we concede that he is omniscient and omnipotent. There is much which we do not know about the realm God resides in, or about the multidimensionality of space and time. We believe that we were created in the image of the Gods, as it's stated in Genesis (Genesis 1:26). The body is a vessel for our spirit, and through the experiences of the body we gain a better understanding of good and evil, in short, of opposite values. We often refer to the body as a Temple, because of its sacred purpose. This leads us to a discussion about why we don't drink or smoke, which is better left for another post.
Our spirit and our body united constitute our soul. One of the purposes of our body is to bring other souls into the world. Therefore, the sexual act is for us considered a sacred act, because in essence it unfolds God's purposes, which depend on souls leaving the pre-existence and coming to earth to inhabit a body which will give them the necessary experiences they need to progress. Therefore, something designed in the image of God, which houses our spirit, and which acts as the catalyst for new life is a sacred vessel. God, in his wisdom, has prescribed that sex should only be enjoyed between a husband and wife. Why? Because God knows that throughout the universe, throughout time, the greatest happiness can only be had when sex is enjoyed within the bonds of matrimony. In fact, this is a commandment which the Church has especially endorsed in a proclamation aptly called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World".
From my own experience I can say only this: God is a loving, wise parent, who wants us to enjoy a happy life, not a distorted life filled with regret. His commandments are the guardrails along the path that help us stay within the bounds that lead to happiness. We cannot break His commandments, we can only break ourselves against them.
Marriage is a three-way covenant. God promises to sanctify and bless the couple as they strive to love each other and cherish God. Sexual intercourse now becomes a sanctifying event, not just a hedonistic outlet for pleasure. It is as if the gates of heaven are opened and two spirits unite in the act of lovemaking to reach a higher ecstasy than they could possibly achieve outside of marriage. They become sanctified and more like God in the process. They become more patient, forgiving, considerate, each seeking the welfare and happiness of the other. Sexual intimacy, in that sense, becomes a sacrament, to be partaken often. As Eric Fromm put in his book the Art of Loving, they become more response-able. They are better able to respond to each other's wants and needs, that is if they include God in their life.
The opposite is often the case when sex is enjoyed outside the bonds of marriage; a different gate opens, and the spirits which join in the couple are anything but holy. The pleasure may be intense but this spike of happiness is short-lived and with illicit sex comes acrimony, bitter feelings, jealousies, bickering, selfishness, insecurity and an inability to tune into the more sublime pleasures of life. It's like being unable to visit the rooftop that gives to majestic vistas. The word SIN, is a good acronym for selfishness, indifference, and numbness.
We are each endowed with free-agency. Our choice is to follow the ways of the world or follow God's ways. True joy and peace can only be had when we follow God's ways. This is know of myself, from my own experience. I am the perfect lab rat. I have left my worldly ways way behind, and frankly when I look back at them they smell like a batch of dirty socks compared to the air I now breathe.
The best evidence is one's countenance: notice the difference between these two pictures? The black and white one is one of me when I was 22 and living an indecent life, and the colored one was taken on Christmas Day just after I had finished giving a discourse at Church on the meaning of Christmas (Dec 25, 2011), after living for years a clean life.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is about imbuing us with a spirit of happiness no matter what challenges we face.


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